I’m walking down the ailses at a local massive huge store (might rhyme with Zarget or Z-mart), well going thru the medication section, I noticed the nictine patches are under glass and key … as well as the condoms. Okay the nicotine is a drug, I can see the need for that under lock and key, but latex is that valuable?
Yet a few ailses down Drano is available on the bottom shelf in new bright child-attracting colors.
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Hey, look, as long as you got a note from your mother, spouse, or doctor—or a court order—you won’t have any problem buying those condoms, although you might have to show some id to verify that you are old enough to buy them and a note from your clergyman (and the store does prefer that it is a clergyMAN) noting that you are of good moral fiber and that you are, indeed, married and will only be using contraception in morally approved ways would be helpful.
Of course, do expect a lecture on sin and its results as the inbred, evangelisitc, single-parent, bastard, clerk with the prison tattoos and the needle marks unlocks the cabinet and inquires in a voice that can be heard on the otherside of the mega-store whether you would like ribbed, extra-ribbed, lubricated, reservior tip, or those ones that glow in the dark? The three-pack or the family-pack? Then, as he hands you the box (after leaving the store you will find that expiration date is in the 20th-century), he’ll jab you in the ribs, wink, work his jaw around in a slow circle, tuck his thumbs in the front of his stained trousers (you hope he just had a bad encounter with his lunch), take a quick glance around, give you a slow wink, and wheeze, “Eh, eh, I never use them.”
On the other hand, if they follow the lead of their German counterparts you mentioned on 4/8, they may soon be handing out condoms at the door. Be careful what you wish for…
And the results from your investigative venture to Target, Chris?
Target did not put them under glass. Open and non-judgemental. How nice!